Lovely convo already this morning...
Mom: Sweetie do you remember our talk a few years ago about my disagreement with you having a baby right? I want to make sure you know this. As I said I still love you no matter what. Ok you know it will upset Dad and Nannan right? They will tell me of their disagreement with this plan. I want you to know that I will tell them don't ask me as Sheila. You know God doesn't approve of this right? OK I am done. I did my part. The rest is between you and them.
Me: No it is my responsibility I'll tell them when I'm ready. I love you too but do not tell me God doesn't approve. I KNOW God loves me and it doesn't matter what I do in life as long as I'm serviceable to my fellow man. That is YOUR church telling you that it's wrong and I'm sorry they don't speak for God no matter what you THINK.
Mom: Good glad to hear that (about telling when ready).
Me: I keep my mouth shut about your religion so do not, DO NOT tell me what you think God "says" because he didn't come to you personally and tell you.
Mom: Did you tell Josh about your plan to have a baby?
Me: Yes. Josh and Sylvia both know. Josh is happy and Sylvia is excited.
Mom: No. Have you read the Book of Mormon lately? As I said I am done. You know things and understand. I let it go. That's great (about Josh and Sylvia knowing). It's only Nannan and Dad you will have to face. It's going to be a girl no boy.
Me: The Book of Mormon and Bible mean nothing to me. I have my relationship with God and that's all that matters.
Mom: If I lose the bet (meaning if we have a boy and not girl) I'll take you to Dairy Queen. Deal?
Me: OK deal.
Mom: Good looking forward to having a grand kid.
(Amity wrote this one out today to actually make it make some sort of sense.)
What a prize! Ice cream if it's a boy! Nothing if it's a girl! Oh joy! I can hardly contain my excitement! I said I would one up that and when we find out that we are ACTUALLY pregnant, we'll go to Applebee's! Oh my! Sheila said OR DISNEYLAND!!! haha
I'm slightly at a loss for words over Sheila pretty much getting a punch in the face and then her mother talking like nothing happened and making bets over gender. Also, yesterday with saying pretty much the same thing as today and then turning around and asking about twins. Hurts my head.
Edit: Sheila has only told her mom and she's going to wait to tell her Grandparents and Father until after she's pregnant. Her mom isn't going to say anything (hopefully). So, if anyone else reading this knows her parents or grandparents, please don't say anything, she'd rather they heard it from us. She love and respects her mom and doesn't want people to think bad of her because of what was said. She's a great person, just naive. Sheila knows her mom will come around, she just needs time.
i hate to say it but if the first book that she references is the Book of Mormon, then she needs to be retaught religion. It is based on the Bible, not the Book of Mormon! I'm sorry, i just don't agree with that bullshit. I don't read the Bible but like you, I have my own relationship with God, I love him, he loves me and that's all that matters! If you are happy with your life, live it! God won't condemn you for being happy!
ReplyDeleteGod damn, man. You know, that conversation was kind of head-spinning, going from "you know God thinks you totally suck, right?" to "I'll take you to Dairy Queen if it's a boy," but weirdly, that's exactly how my serious conversations with my parents go. I don't want to turn this into a huge religious debate (ha! like it isn't already), but it's interesting to me because my dad always brings up shit like "what, are you afraid to read the Book of Mormon because you'll realize that it's true and that you've been wrong this whole time?" yet whenever it comes down to a conversation, my PARENTS are the one to just spout their beliefs at me and then bail from the conversation. I guess maybe we aren't the ones who are insecure, if they're so unwilling to actually have an adult conversation with us about it.
ReplyDeleteYou should ask your mom which verse in the Book of Mormon says god hates lesbians who have kids. I may not have read it in a while, but I don't remember ever reading such a thing in there...maybe it's during the Isaiah shit. ;)
And Gary, Mormons don't really care about the Bible...they only use it to back up the Book of Mormon for people who don't buy into the BoM as a religious text. ;)
ReplyDeleteWay to be Sheila!! Stand up for yourself and your future child/ren. Know that I'm super excited for you and Amity and I pray that things go super well for you two.
ReplyDeleteI love that you guys actually reply to these posts!
ReplyDeleteGary, you'll have to excuse them, that's just how they think because it's pounded into them.
Heather, I'm glad you see the weird twists that come after getting the punch to the face. I thought it was just me thinking something weird because Sheila doesn't think anything of it only because I'm sure she's used to it.
Alice, I'm glad that you are being so open and loving of the concept being her family member. It's a breath of fresh air to not have the hate coming from all angles. Thank you!
Interesting point of view- I went to a Jewish panel on GLBT rights and the Reform and Conservative movement (even some Orthodox- but he seemed confused about what else you could do) claim that (for the most part) the only scriptures against gays apply to anal sex. So only anal sex is abhorrent to God. So if your two gay dudes as long as your just blowing each other its okay:p and lesbians are in the clear. There are actually Rabbis that will marry lesbians but not gay guys. Just found it funny.
ReplyDeleteAlso found that a Rabbi wearing a pink shirt claiming he didnt "know what a sissy was anyway", HILARIOUS!
Anyway, I know how the Mormon stuff goes, its rough. But youll get through. I don't know if there is a way to deal with family without it being nerve racking/ a constant debate, but if you find out let me know!
Yeah, Amity, it makes sense that Sheila would be used to it, if her parents are anything like mine. I've started noticing it more with my parents, but it never jumped out at me that it was THAT twisted until I read this and was like "holy crap, that's exactly what my parents do!" Honestly, I find it disrespectful that they say things like that but won't even give us the courtesy to discuss it afterward. At practice, when we work on hip checks, we do this thing where we "hit it and quit it," just cutting in, checking someone, and then skating away as fast as we can...that's exactly what I feel like our parents do. Hip check the shit out of us, then run away before we can react. Got to say, I enjoy it a lot more when it involves roller skates than I do when it involves emotions.
ReplyDeleteRegarding dealing with family without a constant debate...I don't have the whole LGBT thrown into the mix with my family, but even without it, I don't think there's a way to avoid the constant back and forth. I once told my mom that I felt like no matter what I did with my life, she and my dad would always look at me and say "but if only she went to church," ignoring all the good stuff that I have going on and focusing on the one thing they don't agree with. She replied that she knew me going to church didn't change what a good life I had or erase any of the hard work I've put in to make it this way, then in the same breath said something along the lines of "but I can't help it if sometimes I see this great vision of what things would be like for you if you returned to the church." So as disheartening as it is, it seems like no matter what happens, there's always going to be that monkey wrench in our relationship. If only people could wrap their heads around the fact that everyone not sharing the same religious opinions isn't a bad thing...
If the Mormon 'religion' isn't based on the Bible, that what basis is it a religion?? I don't want to offend but I just don't understand it. Anywho.... God loves children, regardless of where they come from, otherwise, we wouldn't be here and be having our own children. Trust in him and you will find peace.
ReplyDeleteTo Heather about the whole "hit and quit it" I hate it. I really wish they wouldn't throw shit in my face and not even let me get a word in to defend myself. It's like yeah whatever I don't care what you think but you're gonna hear what I "know". It's irritating and there's nothing we can do about it....
ReplyDeleteUhh...Gary, just an FYI, not every religion is based on the Bible. It's not, like, a requirement. I was going to say what I thought the main religious requirement was, but it was kind of meanish, lol...so I'll shut up.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I'm with you on that, dude. If you're going to try to tear me down and throw your "indisputable facts" at me, at least have the decency to let me defend my beliefs.