Why hello there!

If you actually thought I would be better about posting more, you were wrong! I have not only let the people down who read this blog, but my other blogs as well! You'd think I'd have SO much stuff going on that I don't even have time to breathe. That is not the case...I'm just a procrastinator...BOO.

OK sooooo we are on insem #5! 6 days in and 8 to go!

Try #3 ended with AF like I thought. Try #4 was uhmmm...interesting! I was thinking that maybe by the time we get the lil swimmers home, that they're too warm from Sheila holding them or they've been in the elements too long or whatever, so we got our sample and inseminated in the car! What? People get pregnant in the car all the time! Why can't we?? Wasn't a very well thought out plan might I add! We knew we were going to do it, but didn't bring anything to aide in the awkwardness of not being able to see, it being friggen cold (in November) and afraid someone might see what we're doing. After the deed was done, I had to drive home while Sheila had her legs in the air, trying to balance on her head, while I was trying to avoid bumps, dips, etc, so she wouldn't fall over! I'm so glad it was night time because it would've been pretty odd in the day time! I can only image the looks we would've gotten. No pictures from that adventure...well because it was just weird anyway. We kinda had a bad feeling about it not working from the start, and of course, it ended in AF.

As I said before, we are on try #5. Didn't do anything crazy this time. Got the sample and came home and did the ol' routine. I have been really good during the process, but I seriously was gagging and dry heaving to the point where I almost puked on Sheila and my eyes were watering so much that I could barely see what I was doing! I just had to think about something else and just do what needed to be done. Sheila's temp has been pretty steady, but took a little dive this morning. It's been said that during implantation, your temperature goes down for a day and then goes right back up the next day, so I guess we'll see. I also read from someone on Babycenter, that boy sperm (Y chromosome) swim faster and girl sperm (X chromosome) live longer. I don't know how true that is, but I thought it was interesting. So here we sit in the middle of the waiting game. We should know if it worked or not on Christmas. What a cool present that would be? Although...not a very cool gift for Sheila if AF comes to visit.

Anyway, you guys do know that if there were exciting news like a BFP (big fat positive), I'd definitely post an update. If I don't get to post again before the holiday I hope everyone has a good one! Keep your fingers crossed and us in your thoughts!!!!!! :)

-Amity

3rd times a charm??

I bet you're wondering where the post is for the 2nd insem...I actually had to go back and read a little bit of our last blogs to find out what we've talked about... THAT'S how big of slackers we are!

OK a bit of recaps...or to catch myself up that is. I know I will probably mention things that we've already posted about, but in case you're just tuning in, you'll be on the same page as everyone else..hopefully. Think of it as the beginning of Glee where the guy talks really fast and tells you what happened on the last episode.

-We did our first insemination (months ago) and it ended in Sheila getting a pelvic infection because her doctor thought she may be allergic to our donor's sample. She was put on antibiotics to get rid of it before it did more damage and risk never being able to get pregnant. During that healing time, her next month's cycle was all screwed up and she actually never ovulated. Her body was stuck in cooking mode (estrogen) which means, her body kept producing eggs and growing them and growing them since the progesterone never told them to stop growing and producing and to pop out of the ovaries. When Sheila went in for her follow up appointment they checked and she had some HUGE follicles on both sides and there were smaller ones still growing. The doctor was shocked to see SO many and asked Sheila if she were on fertility drugs. We decided not to inseminate after her body popped all those eggs because we didn't want to end up being the Octo-Moms!

-After her body was all healed we were able to do our second insem which was last month. We got some bendryl for her to take just in case she is in fact allergic. I don't really recall all the details, but I do remember I was REALLY tired! We did the insem around 10pm Sept 3rd.

I don't know why she was so happy looking because I definitely wasn't...

We also did an insem the next day and I was looking a little more happy after being able to sleep..

We waited our 2 weeks and were getting slightly excited since the red lady was a couple days late only for her to burst in the door and crush our hopes. Sheila also had no complications this go around, so either our new way to transport the sample is cleaner or the benedryl is doing it's job.

OMG SIDE NOTE...As I was just typing, I hit a random button that wasn't delete and everything got erased from this post. Thank goodness for Ctrl Z!!

PHEW! Going on...

After the red lady came for a visit we were gearing up for the next 2 weeks. Making sure our donor was good to go and we had all the supplies we needed since after 2 times things start getting low. That 2 weeks went by and we were tracking her ovulation like crazy. She never got 2 full dark lines, but she's getting better at trusting her body, so we went ahead and got a sample on Oct 5th and did our 3rd try. After updating Fertility Friend it showed that she ovulated right on that day, so it was pretty good timing. We forgot to take pix this time.. :(

She's at day 9 today and her temp is slowly coming down, so I'm not too sure it worked, but we'll keep trying until it does eventually work. She's been kind of nauseated, sore boobs, and been having headaches. Those are all the same signs as the red lady is coming for a visit, so we will have to wait a few more days to see. Fingers crossed!

I had a funny thought that it would be crazy if some how I ended up getting preg from inseminating her. We're usually on or near the same cycle and I always manage to get the stuff on me! I scrub up before hand and Sheila is allergic to latex, so I don't use gloves. I always wash after, but wouldn't that just be SO weird if that actually happened?? Freaky!

I think that about does it for getting everyone caught up. I'll have to get better at updating sooner. I've just been finally working a lot, so I'm too exhausted to do anything! You don't believe me? You should see how dirty our house is!

-Amity

OK time for a funny picture....



What a bunch of slackers!!

I have been wanting to post a blog for over a month now since I don't think we've posted in like 2 months. This is basically a post to say that I'm going to post a real one most likely tomorrow. Haha I know we suck and you have to wait longer. I will tell you that Sheila is 8 days past ovulation today and we did 2 inseminations! Who0t!

So yeah...hang in there a little longer until I can gather everything I want to write about. :)

-Amity

Follow-up

I had two follow-ups after my first appointment. Basically all she did was check my temp and asked how I was feeling.

Today I told her that everything in my pelvic region is doing good. She again expressed concern about doing at home insemination and is trying to encourage me to do intra-uterine insemination (IUI). (I'm saddened by this because it makes me feel like because I don't have a penis, I am incapable of knowing the insemination process and how it works. :( )

For now I think we're gonna keep trying the at home insemination(yes, we are), at least one (or 5) more go around. If I do have issues again with it then we will explore other options. Because if I keep having infections then it will destroy my chances of ever getting pregnant. (We're going to try taking benedryl before these next insems to see if that helps with the possible allergy. Also what I don't understand is that there's no real difference in our inseminations and doing an IUI. They just stick the swimmers into the uterus instead of making them go thru the cervix to get to the uterus. Wouldn't you still get an allergic reaction? I think so.)

So, we will try again this month. Maybe... I just gotta make sure everyone is back on board. But I think Amity is ready to try again (I never wanted to stop trying, but you're health comes first.). She asked me last night if I think I'm ready because I should know my body better then anyone else.

Well, that's it for now.
-Sheila- (commentary by Amity)

In the recent news about the earthquake on the east coast I share with you this picture that I thought was funny (because no real damage was reported).

Doctor's appointment

So I know a lot of people are concern with how my appointment on Thursday went so I figure I should probably tell you guys.

So I had an appointment with my OB-GYN on Thursday morning. They ask me what's wrong and everything, so I describe my symptoms to the nurse and explain to her that we are trying to conceive. She proceeds to take my blood pressure and had me go pee in a cup. Then tells me when I get back to strip from the waist down. So I get back to my room and start unbuckling my belt when my physician comes in and says wait don't get undress just yet. She sits me down and asks me some questions, like how exactly did we do the insemination, when did we do it, and when did I start having pains.

After her questioning she tells me she wants to do an ultrasound first. The ultrasound tech explains to me what I'm seeing on the screen. It's all Greek to me... She at first couldn't find my left ovary so she had to go a different route. She found a lot of eggs in my left ovary, and four eggs in my right. She asked if I was on any fertility drugs. No I am not. Now keep in mind that I haven't ovulated since June 20th, so Amity says that if I ovulate all those eggs are gonna drop. We're hoping I don't become the next octo-mom.

So after the ultrasound I go back to my room and Kalea, my physician, tells me what the results are. I don't really recall what she said. (That's why I wish Amity was there...) She does tell me that I do have small cysts, but nothing to be concern about. I then get a pelvic exam (it actually hurt a lot) and proceeds to tell me that it looks like a pelvic infection.

She prescribed 3 different anti-biotics to "attack the infection aggressively before it gets any worse so we can avoid a trip to the hospital." And sends me to get blood work done.

I have a follow-up appointment on Monday, hopefully I'll have more details then. I'm also gonna ask for the ultrasound pictures so I can share with you guys.

So as of today, Saturday, I'm feeling better then I have. I don't know if it is the drugs because honestly, I think it's too soon to tell. My stomach does hurt more at night and early morning then anything else.

Well that's it for now. I'll have more information after Monday, hopefully.

Needing ovulation vibes!

Sheila still hasn't ovulated this month and she's on cycle day 22!! This month has been SO weird! She's had all these "symptoms" eventhough she had a visit from the red lady the 8th of July.

All day long she had excrutiating pains in her lower abdomin area. It even hurt to place a hand on her tummy. She was SO tired and crabby. I think if she could've killed me, she would've.

So, we decided maybe we should get a pregnancy test just to be TOTALLY sure that she's not pregnant and there's something wrong. Then again, if it's negative and she's having these pains, maybe there's something wrong anyway which is also preventing her from ovulating.

Yes, it is from Wal-Mart. It's close and sort of cheaper. I can't believe for just this one it was almost $4! I should invent something to pee on and give you results in 1 minute just to have it be thrown away. I'd be rich! Hmmmm...what would people need results for that they could pee on a stick..? I'm talkin males and females, not just females. I'll ponder it and let you know if I decide on something.

Looking over the directions for the test we thought this diagram picture was funny. What girl can pee like that (in a stream) without getting it all over the place or even standing up at all unless you're in the shower? I'd like to meet them and learn their trick if there is such a person.




While I was admiring this and having a photo shoot, Sheila was doing her business and we finally got the answer we were wanting to know. Negative.

We're going to monitor this pain she's having and if it doesn't get any better, off to the doctor or hospital we go! I'm curious to know if an ectopic pregnancy will also show up as a negative. I know it's looking for hCG levels, but I wonder if it differs since the embryo isn't in the uterus. Maybe we should have them do an ultrasound just to be sure? We'll keep you all posted in the next few days if we decide to go get her checked out.










Happy thoughts and vibes for us that she will ovulate soon!
-Amity

Nothing new...

Just taking temps and watching CM. The temp chart isn't as crazy as it was last month! Much easier to read.

It's a good possibility our donor will be going on vacation during the time Sheila ovulates next. We're currently on day 12 of her cycle and she should pop her egg sometime this weekend (if her body cooperates)...that being said, our donor may be in another state. Boo. But you know what? When it's our time, it's our time. It'll all work out. Everything happens for a reason. Even if we don't like it.

That's that. Short and sweet. Fingers crossed!
-Amity

The verdict is...

I like expressing my thoughts in pictures....

If you didn't get what I was trying to say, it's that this time didn't turn out how we would've liked it to. Everything in this two week wait was going really well (or so we thought). Let me explain...

Pretty quickly after the insemination, Sheila began having cramps and such and we just thought it was her ovulating and the swimmers doing their job. Her temperature rose and continued to stay really high for four days and took a small drop (.13 degrees) and stayed that temp for 5 days. In those 9 days she seriously was going to the potty it seemed like every hour, she was nauseated at smells and thoughts of food, she had tender nips and skin color changed around them, overly exhausted, emotional, and just felt like she was preg. Her cramps started up again, so we looked it up and it said that around the 10th day you can have implantation cramping. We were thinking YAY, it must have worked! Then Thursday, July 7th, her temp dropped A LOT (.42 degrees), didn't feel the same feelings anymore and had what seemed like menstrual cramps. Lo and behold, the red lady came Friday morning with a vengeance. :(

So, we've already got this month's plans going and we will try try again until it works. Hopefully this months cycle won't be SO friggen crazy, temperature wise, and just be normal...or whatever normal is.

I leave you with a fail pic that I thought was funny and had to share...

-Amity



Fertility Friend is not being much of a friend...

You know this whole tracking temp thing is a bit useless if it doesn't tell you when you ovulate! Everything has been fine on the chart. Still tracking temps as the days go by and then all of a sudden, today's temp changed the entire chart from saying Sheila ovulated on day 18 to day 20! We didn't do anymore insems after day 19, so now I'm a little mad/confused at the damn thing.

I posted on the GLBT fertility forum that I'm on about this jump and someone said they had a theory and for me to "delete" the high temp on day 16 and put today's back in and see what happens and it still said O'd on day 20. GRRRR I'm still waiting for them to get back to me on said theory.

Something else to ramble about...
Sunday Sheila's family came over [read: invited themselves] for dinner. Let me explain so when Sheila reads this she doesn't fly off the handle...Saturday morning we both get a text from her mother asking if we can have dinner at our house. We, meaning Sheila, text her back and said sorry we don't have any food or money to buy food. So her mom said they'd bring us money to buy food, so they could come over Sunday for dinner. We weren't even going to go to her house Sunday because we don't even have money for gas. I remembered that I had a bunch of chicken legs from the Ranch Market and I figured I'll grill them and if they don't like it, oh well. End of convo for a little while. During the day we went to a wedding reception, we picked up our sample on the way home, and did our insem after we got home. Probably 10mins after we're done, Sheila's hips are propped up and everything is marinating inside, she gets a text that her parents are on the way over with money for us! We're like Oh.My.God we can't have them just come over and be like well Sheila's busy, thanks for the money, see ya later, bye bye! She hurried and text them and told them we weren't home and to come in an hour. Luckily they got it before they were here! PHEW! How embarrassing that would've been...HA! They got here, chatted and gave her money, and then left just to turn around and make the long journey back out to us again the next day.

So, Sunday they get here and I guess her mom asked her if we started trying yet as they were walking into the house and she said yes. Then everyone was like so are you pregnant yet and yadda yadda. Sheila tells them we won't find out for like 2 weeks. It kind of strikes me odd that the people that came to dinner that day, all have had children, and you'd think they would know about ovulation, proper length of time before a pregnancy test, and all that jazz, but I was wrong.

After running around like a crazy person I finally get the dinner made and put on the table. We sit down and then everyone is looking at me and then onto Sheila. It was the awkwardness of if we were going to say prayer or not. I don't do prayers. I will sit and bow my head out of respect if someone else is doing one, but me personally, not happening. Sheila looks at them and says, eat. Her mom looks all sad and Sheila says, well do you want to do a prayer then and she's like no it's your house you do what you want. So we eat and I think I got told 4 times that the chicken was really good by her mom in a 10 min time frame. OK thanks. Got it. She then said, it must be good he's already had two of them while pointing back at Sheila's dad with her thumb. He never even looked at me or anything the entire time he was here just played on his phone. Not a huge surprise since that's how he is at the grandparent's house too. We played Guitar Hero for a little bit and they got ready to leave. Everyone gets up and says they're goodbyes and her dad walks right past me and hugs Sheila 2 feet in front of me and does the I love you sign right in her face and leaves without looking back. I've come to terms that he's going to always hate my guts and even more so, now that we're going to bring a child into this "disgusting life" we live. You can't win them all, right? It just makes me feel like a piece of shit.

We're not going to dinner this Sunday. Sheila says we've seen them 3 weeks in a row, it's time for a break. Fine with me. It's a holiday weekend after all. That being said, I hope everyone has a safe and eventful weekend, if I don't post anything else before then. :)

-Amity

Fingers crossed

This frustrating cycle has come to a close. We inseminated 2 more times this weekend and watched Sheila's body temperature go up and down A LOT during the month (pic below) and still Fertility Friend hadn't showed any ovulation. I was getting discouraged that something crazy happened this month and she never popped her egg. That is until we put in this morning's temp and voila! the red lines finally showed up!

OK so let me explain this little guy right over <~*~here. The blue dots are Sheila's temperature that she gets on her basal thermometer every morning at 5am. The blue lines just connect the days. The dashed line means she forgot to take her temp that day. The date is at the top this one is June's. The day part on the bottom is the day of her cycle. Day 1 is the first day the red lady comes. CM under the Day is for Cervical Mucus which is secreted from the cervix everyday and gets yuckier as you get closer to ovulation. When you're closer to ovulation, it has the same consistency and nutrients as semen, so the swimmers can live longer (up to 5 days) inside of the cervix waiting for the egg. Some of the boxes are green meaning that it's "go time". haha. The X's under them are the days we inseminated and the + and - were for the ovulation predictor pee stick things. The red lines on the graph are the average temperature (horizontal line) and the switch in hormone from estrogen to progesterone (vertical line). Where they intersect is your ovulation day meaning the 24 hours the egg is released for fertilization. It is also your lowest body temperature reading for the entire month. According to this chart, we nailed it right on the head, so hopefully this little follicle will attach itself within the next few days and stick!

We're not overly concerned with the whole peeing on a stick thing in 2 weeks. We'll just see if the red lady comes back to visit again and if she does then it's on to try number 2!

I've really done my research! I guess that's what I get for having SO much time off!

-Amity

Finally...

the real time has come!

OVULATION!

I posted a similar picture on Facebook this morning that just said, "Hello." and people were posting with kind words of congrats and blessings. Apparently those are the ones who don't read this blog. :P Anyway, moments of truth within these next couple of days. Temp dropped only .03 degrees lower than the current lowest temp, so she might actually being popping that egg today. We'll know tomorrow if temp goes back up.

Dear universe...make this time be the right one, so we can stop torturing our donor! Thank you. :D

 

Day 2...err yesterday

First, shout out to all the babycenter ladies reading our blog!! :P HAHA I'm a weirdo!

Anyways, I didn't update this blog yesterday because I was seconds from throwing up. I didn't make her laugh this time! WORSE!! I got the stuff on me!!!! I was being SO careful and when I was pulling the syringe out of the condom, a little bit of overflow was there on my finger. I yelled out GROSS and I even said the F word. I hardly ever say the F word!

I wore Sheila's new DBacks hat during the insem because she kept telling me I looked cute in it. This time went a lot more smoother I think. I'm a fast learner. We had everything set up better to keep her hips elevated than the day before. I also just inseminated (nothing fun before hand). I think that's why it came out when she laughed. No spillage (except on me) and everything stayed in! Now for the sad part...she hasn't even ovulated yet! She was supposed to yesterday according to the charts and temp, but the little egg got stage fright, and stayed away. Her temp went back up this morning (higher than it has this whole cycle, but not by much), so I guess her body didn't want to help us out this month. We're going to skip tonight and wait to see what the test strip says when she gets home and her temp tomorrow. Hopefully it's just a weird long cycle. Who knows..?

I think both of our bodies are feeling some sort of weirdness because I am really late on my monthly gift. It came for about an hour and then gone! Very weird for me to be having any issues. Watch, now that I said something, it'll come full force.

-Amity

I took pix to document this moment in our lives...what can I say, I like taking pix! They're not bad. I promise.

Sheila after the first try and me telling her to stop laughing...

 

Me in the DBacks hat putting on my game face before the incident...

Sheila chillin with her bear after the 2nd try...

 

THE END

Well a small update to say...

as of 8:30pm Sheila was inseminated! Didn't get the smiley face on the ovulation stick yet, but she should hopefully ovulate tomorrow and we'll insem again tomorrow and do things a little different. I learn quickly from my mistakes. Note to anyone that will be trying to conceive..after that stuff is in there..do not make your partner laugh..there's a good chance it will come out...EWWY!! (TMI I know, but this is my blog to share everything)

Funny thing before hand...Sheila had the sample keeping it warm and she's like OK come do this. Well, right before we got it, I was setting up Guitar Hero so the intro music to the game was playing and I said OK, I need to stop this game because I don't want to inseminate you to Michael Jackson singing "Beat It". We laughed and then I turned it off.

-Amity

We know how these ladies feel!!

There's this show called, "The Real L Word". It's pretty fake in the way a lesbian's life is, but there's a couple on there who is trying to start their family. They had a sit down dinner with a few of their guy friends after their other guy friend backed out, and this is what happened...

Detach Yourself

Copy and paste this if that doesn't work.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUvpJhMDOLU&feature=BFa&list=SL&index=16

-Amity

Getting to be about that time...

So, Sheila wrote a letter to her family about how she felt they were treating us and to let them officially know our baby plans. They read it and comprehended most of it, so hopefully they'll be better. We hadn't seen them in 2 weeks to let them sort of get over the letter and any bad thought and/or feelings about the last part which stated we were going to try to expand our family. It didn't say how soon or anything like that..just that we were. Out of them all, her mom told her that her dad took it the worst. Was expected. My biggest fear/concern was them being overly friendly and loving (fake), which was sort of happened this last Sunday. Her dad was standing at the door and hugged her when we walked in and was smiling, still didn't wave or anything to me (which is fine) because at least he was finally showing her some sort of affection and not alienating her. Her mom was right after him, hugging us, and throwing her arms up and saying YAY loudly in excitement like we were the greatest things since sliced bread. Josh hugged us right after them, but he always does, so that wasn't out of the ordinary, then came the grandparents. They usually hug us too, so it wasn't that big of a surprise. It was like a parade of people, full of excitement that we were there. That hadn't happened in a while. It was all kind of overbearing (for me anyway). Nothing was really brought up about our impeding plans, just the small mention of what we could name the kid if it were a girl. Believe me, it's not happening! Anyway, dinner as a whole was OK, it was just the awkward overly happy moments that took place as we stepped foot into the house. Hopefully it continues to move forward and be less weird.
In other news.....If all our charting is correct, we should be doing our first insemination this weekend/early week. Gotta get in touch with our donor and hash over the details. I think I want to insem more than one day just to be sure, but it all depends on him. Most of the other women I've been talking to and learning from usually insem the night before and the day of ovulation. They also don't usually have a known donor at their expense. I'm just nervous that I won't do it right and it'll be my fault if she doesn't get knocked up. We didn't get the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) or Cytomegalovirus (CMV)testing done because it was ridiculous how expensive it was! $800 just for the CF test alone!! We learned later that they can test for all of that after you're pregnant and it won't cost you an arm and a leg. We wanted to test before because they can cause birth issues, but I guess we'll see. Keep your fingers, toes, arms, legs, whatever you've got to cross and send lots of baby dust our way!! (been on the fertility boards a little too much..) Hopefully this process will go by quickly and we won't have to repeat this for months and months and months. I'll update probably later in the week on the experience of all that will have happened.

-Amity

It's always good to hear

Today I hung out with my grandmother. I didn't tell her our plans, but we did talk about a lot of other things.

I told her how I felt that I was always disappointing everyone, that nothing I do is ever enough. She sincerely apologized and told me how proud she was of me. How I went to school and follow through with my job. How I bought a house and be the person I am. It's just what I needed to hear. Especially after everything that is going on. Without telling her why it was said I told her how it made me upset and how it hurt me of how my mom said God doesn't approve of my choices. She wasn't happy about that. She told me that as a mother it is hard to see your kids do something that you yourself cannot approve of and a mother will shed tears over it and pray for you, but it can never take away their love for their children.

Before she dropped me off she told me that she was sorry for hurting my feelings. She then brought up our conversation that time we went out to dinner and she apologized. She went on to say that seeing me with my nephew, Alex, that she could see that I yearn to have a child of my own. She said I would make a damn good mother and who was she to take that away from me because of her feelings. Nannan said that no matter what I choose she loves me no matter what.

I still haven't told her our plans, but with her saying that I will tell them sooner rather then later. Now I don't know if anyone said anything or she just picked it up. There are times when Nannan is a very intelligent woman and she always speaks from her heart when it comes to her feelings for her family.

It really made me feel so much better to hear the things she said. I hope in my heart that we can grow from it.

Round 2 DING DING DING

Lovely convo already this morning...

Mom: Sweetie do you remember our talk a few years ago about my disagreement with you having a baby right? I want to make sure you know this. As I said I still love you no matter what. Ok you know it will upset Dad and Nannan right? They will tell me of their disagreement with this plan. I want you to know that I will tell them don't ask me as Sheila. You know God doesn't approve of this right? OK I am done. I did my part. The rest is between you and them.

Me: No it is my responsibility I'll tell them when I'm ready. I love you too but do not tell me God doesn't approve. I KNOW God loves me and it doesn't matter what I do in life as long as I'm serviceable to my fellow man. That is YOUR church telling you that it's wrong and I'm sorry they don't speak for God no matter what you THINK.

Mom: Good glad to hear that (about telling when ready).

Me: I keep my mouth shut about your religion so do not, DO NOT tell me what you think God "says" because he didn't come to you personally and tell you.

Mom: Did you tell Josh about your plan to have a baby?

Me: Yes. Josh and Sylvia both know. Josh is happy and Sylvia is excited.

Mom: No. Have you read the Book of Mormon lately? As I said I am done. You know things and understand. I let it go. That's great (about Josh and Sylvia knowing). It's only Nannan and Dad you will have to face. It's going to be a girl no boy.

Me: The Book of Mormon and Bible mean nothing to me. I have my relationship with God and that's all that matters.

Mom: If I lose the bet (meaning if we have a boy and not girl) I'll take you to Dairy Queen. Deal?

Me: OK deal.

Mom: Good looking forward to having a grand kid.

(Amity wrote this one out today to actually make it make some sort of sense.)
What a prize! Ice cream if it's a boy! Nothing if it's a girl! Oh joy! I can hardly contain my excitement! I said I would one up that and when we find out that we are ACTUALLY pregnant, we'll go to Applebee's! Oh my! Sheila said OR DISNEYLAND!!! haha

I'm slightly at a loss for words over Sheila pretty much getting a punch in the face and then her mother talking like nothing happened and making bets over gender. Also, yesterday with saying pretty much the same thing as today and then turning around and asking about twins. Hurts my head.


Edit: Sheila has only told her mom and she's going to wait to tell her Grandparents and Father until after she's pregnant. Her mom isn't going to say anything (hopefully). So, if anyone else reading this knows her parents or grandparents, please don't say anything, she'd rather they heard it from us. She love and respects her mom and doesn't want people to think bad of her because of what was said. She's a great person, just naive. Sheila knows her mom will come around, she just needs time.

This post is for Heather bc she wanted one :)

OK I texted my mom today.The conversation went like so-

Me: "Guess what."
Mom: "What?"
Me: "We decided to have a baby"
Mom: "How?"

So after this question I'm thinking 'Well the egg drops down and the sperm race to the egg to see who gets there first......' Really? Why would you ask me that. Anyway, I politely responded because I don't want to be sarcastic and make it worse. Just in case.

Me: "My friend is donating sperm."
Mom: "Hope you check his life background. Anyway who carry baby?"

(Keep in mind my mother's grammar sucks and I'm posting exactly what was said."

Me: "Of course. He's making an appointment to get tested for any STD or genetic complications. He already has a kid and she's healthy.
      I am bc I have insurance and I already saw the doctor and they told me I was healthy."
Mom: "Just checking."
Me: "We did a lot of research and asked a lot of questions. We're really excited about it but we're not gonna be dumb about it."
Mom: "It is ur life I will always love u and baby.
       OK beware of ur family. Even dad. He not going to like it cuz there is no father role for a child. U already know how I feel. I don't need to tell u.
        I know you and Amity will be good mothers.
        How many kid u plan twin?"
Me: "Mom you can't plan twins. For now just 1 kid."
Mom: "OK good luck. When will that happen?"
Me: "Were gonna start trying in June."

Lot of convo in between but I won't bore you with that. Anyway, my thing is with my dad having a problem with it, and my mom shares the same concerns, about no father figure. Warning foul language afoot.

WHAT THE FUCK. How is that a valid reason for you to be upset with us having a child because there is no father figure? How is that justified? I'm sorry but my father was there but he wasn't really a role model. There are many single mothers out there working their asses off to provide and be there for their children and those kids come out ok. How about the single fathers with no mothers? Those kids come out alright too. But then there are kids with both parents in their lives who come just as fucked up as the next kid. It doesn't matter who is in the child's life it matters how the child is raised. And if people are so Goddamn concern about having a good male role model our kid will have plenty. There's Uncle Gary, Uncle Jerod, Uncle Josh, Uncle Bryan, cousin Jesus, and whoever else has a penis that's in our lives.

I'm just saying that I guess I don't understand why it's such a big deal to them that there be a father figure in the picture. This kid is gonna be so loved and so spoiled that it's gonna have a happy fulfilled life, no matter who it's parents are.

So my mom goes on to say that she's not gonna tell anyone else. She said "I want to thank you for share with me. I love you so much."

I told her that I wanted to share with her bc I wanted her to be involved. She is my mother after all it's only right. Then I shared with her my feelings of telling Nannan about how she told me that if I were to have kids she would cut me out of her life and that seriously killed me when she said that. I love my grandparents. They were always there. A major part of my life. If I were ever in a jam they were right there to help me out when my mom couldn't. And anyone who knows my grandparents knows how great they are. So it makes me sad thinking that they would cut me out of their lives and that's why Amity is so concern about me saying anything to them.

This is what my mom said about it-
Mom: "She might but she get over it. Same for dad. As I say be aware of family. U will be sad for a while too bc of Nannan and dad. we all will love baby and always always love you."

So that was it. It started out a little shaky but it slowly got better. I'll always know how she truly feels but I think once we do have the baby and she gets to spoil it I think she'll slowly change her mind. As far as everyone else is concerned I dunno.... But the person who needed to know now does and I feel a lot better now that she does. Like a small amount of the weight on my shoulders have been lifted.

Thanks to everyone for their comments, advice, and concerns. It really helped in making my brave attempt in taking that first step of telling my parents.

To tell or not to tell.

This isn't really an update just more of thoughts towards whether or not to let my parents/grandparents know about us trying.

I want to start off by saying how much I adore my parents and grandparents. I know they love me and I'm really grateful that they haven't disowned me or hate me for living my life for who I am. However, in past conversations my mom and my grandmother, both who say whatever is on their minds without thinking (it's just who they are) have made it clear about how they feel about me having a child with Amity. After a while though my mom has said do what you want I'll spoil the kid anyway. It's like she says that but at the same time you can tell that she doesn't want me to raise a child in "non- normal family environment".

It's not that they don't like Amity, they do. My grandparents adore her, so does my mom. They just don't like the situation and I don't expect them to fully accept it. They don't feel that it's appropriate. That's fine everyone has their own opinion. I just don't want to feel like the worse person in the world.

I just don't want to put my life on hold and wait till they pass away to start my family.

So here's the dilemma. I have yet to tell them that we're actually in the process of working on building our family. Amity's whole family knows. Only Josh and Sylvia of my immediate family knows and they're totally excited. I want to tell my mom so we're not springing it on her after the fact. Amity wants to wait so I'm not stressing out over more then I need to. But honestly I stress out more when I'm not sure what my parents are thinking, and what's gonna happened. But I'm scared to say anything.

So should I say something or should I wait?

For those who were wondering (caution: TMI)

Just an update for those who were curious.

Right now I am keeping track of my temperature to see when I start ovulating. So I bought a basal thermometer and a ovulation kit. The plan is to start insemination in June. I still have to get some genetic testing done so I need to make another doctor's appointment. Also Amity was reading somewhere that I need another blood test called CMV testing. Yay.

CMV testing is checking for a virus that has major birth defects. If I'm positive it doesn't matter if the donor is positive or negative so therefore he won't have to be tested. But if I'm negative then he has to be tested to also be negative because if he's positive and I'm negative that's where the birth defects fall into place. But we're not worried because they have a healthy kid.

Trying to remember to take my prenatal vitamins is a pain in the ass. Sometimes I forget to take them. Oops. Also I have to check my temp as soon as I wake up. I can't do anything before. Can't get up, talk, or go pee (I guess that falls under the can't get up.)  I think that's it for now. Not really much else to do until we figure out the ovulation cycle.

(Amity says HI)

This is Sheila, signing out.

Getting closer

A few things have gone on since we last posted. I talked with my friend on 2 different occasions and he basically thinks we're too young to be having kids and he also says we're being all crazy with ourselves now that my mother moved out. Rash decisions and what not. So, I gave up on his swimmers. I'm just going to let it simmer with him. I guess when he realizes that we're being serious and maybe he'll help us with another kid in the farrrrr future. Maybe he just wants to see how it all plays out?? I don't know. Good news is we have a new donor! He says he's on board with everything, but we want to make sure he's 100,000,000% sure before we go through with anything. It's Sheila's really good married friends that she's known for 5 years and they are actually following us with this blog *Wave to Mindy*. They already have one child and do not wish to have anymore of their own, so they want to help us out! :D YAY!

Had an OB/GYN appointment today, but only for the family planning part. I was very nervous going in with Sheila to talk about all this with her doctor. I was thinking the whole time, I hope this lady doesn't think we're disgusting or doesn't want to answer our questions. Much to my surprise she was VERY willing to discuss anything and put as much detail into everything as possible. I almost couldn't stop myself from laughing when she started talking about the "turkey baster" method. It was good to hear though because I have done my research and she just confirmed everything that I already read on my own. The nervousness subsided and it was easier to listen to her without cracking a big fat adolescent grin. The doctor said that if we haven't had a successful pregnancy after 6 months of trying that we need to consider intrauterine insemination (iui) new big word for artificial insemination. Although, she herself can't do it in that office, she knows of places we can go. Sheila got a prescription for prenatals to start taking tomorrow. The doctor said to start treating yourself as you're already pregnant, so, hopefully that will help the actual process of getting pregnant to be easier. We're going to try and not be so lazy and make it a habit to go on walks at night again.

So, now the awkwardness of having our new donor being tested to make sure he's clean (we know he is, but the doctor wants to be extra sure), blood type, genetic background, etc. I just hope it's not too overwhelming that he decides he doesn't want to help anymore. That's all the updating we have for now!

-Amity

Update

I know everyone is dying to know what's going on with our baby status so I thought I give a little update. I was gonna wait until Amity asked her friend about his donation but she hasn't yet.... Anyway, so I call my health insurance to see what kind of coverage I can get.

They cover about 80% in network for artificial insemination, in-vitro, ovulation check, and any other infertialty. 60% out of network. And then I have my health spending account that will cover any co-pay I might have. And they only cover a total of $3,500 for everything. Which is still awesome!!! Insurance didn't use to do that. So this is our plan last. Basically if all else fails we'll go to a clinic and hope it takes the first time. Also Target is "moving forward and making changes" that means I can add Amity to my insurance! But I still need to double check that because it might not be true in Arizona. I'm really hoping I can.

So my next step is to make an appointment with my gynecologist and bring Amity with me so we can ask our questions of what we need to do and make sure everything is a go. And Amity's next step is to talk to her buddy. Get on it girl!

Anyway so there's our update for now. More later once we know more. Please feel free to ask any questions and leave comments. We like to hear feedback :)

-Sheila

Hello x2

So, I guess I should've wrote more in the last post, but I really couldn't think of anything. We seriously go to bed at like 10pm every night and we were putting the finishing touches on it at 11:30pm. Brain dead time. That's why the description was a little weird with the 'us being together 3 Tuesdays'. It's been roughly 6 years. We wanted to make this blog to post pix of ultrasounds and other things that we feel like showing you guys. Especially for people who don't live close to us...wait that's pretty much everyone, since we live out in the boonies! :P

To answer some of the questions from FB... Sheila is going to carry the child. We're not currently pregnant because she's still gotta go to the OB/GYN and make sure everything is good in the woman department. We basically already know she is, but we just want to know for sure and find out when her ovulation schedule is etc. We are hoping to start trying to conceive around June or July and hopefully be successful by September. We say Sept only because then that'll still be a June baby and there's no major holidays remotely close so, the child won't have to feel like they've been jyped when they start to figure out holidays, birthdays and presents. That'll also give us some time to save up incase our at home with a known donor plan doesn't work out and we need doctor assistance with semen from the cryo bank which costs $1400 for 2 vials. If that doesn't take we have to shell out over and over and over.. Yikes! right? Unfortunately, adoption isn't an option since it's illegal.

So onto the hunt for a donor... I have a gay friend who I'm going to ask. The only problem with that is, I don't want it to be awkward after if he thinks I'm a freak for asking. He jokes around and asks if we're pregnant yet and I just say not until someone gives a cup of man juice. Sheila and I also came up with a plan that if they want to have a kid that I'll carry it for them. It's only fair. If he does say yes, then it's also the awkwardness of having him make sure he has no STD's and that his lil swimmers have what it takes to actually get the job done. I know he's most likely clean, but not sure his partner has kept him that way. We're going to ask some other people whom are married as a back-up, but there's just the whole fear of awkwardness after the question is asked. Hopefully that all goes well or we'll have to start taking donations of either money or sperm. Then after all that, there's the legalities of everything and making sure they won't fight for parental rights and we won't go after them for child support, etc. What a headache! Why couldn't we just some how be blessed with an 'accident' like most families get? Haha

That's about it for now. If any other questions come about, ask in the comments section and we can answer that way, so everyone can see and we don't have to answer repeat questions. :) We'll also put our name at the bottom who posted, since it could be either one of us or both at the same time. o0o special.

-Amity

Hello

Welcome to our new blog! Too tired to come up with anything else... G'night!